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Home » Articles » Chronically Sexy
Chronic illness can be sexy...it's all about your attitude, Babes
by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix
One of my favorite enewsletters comes from Rosalind Joffe, whose site Working with Chronic Illness has a ton of great resources. Today she posted a new article that touched a nerve. In "Chronic Illness Isn't Sexy," she talks about the banality of managing chronic illness and how difficult it is to help people understand what your life as a ChronicBabe is like...or to even draw their attention to the seriousness of it, especially if it's an "invisible illness."
Of course, I agree with Rosalind—chronic illness doesn't have the same pizzazz as visible disability, life-threatening conditions that require surgery, or quick-onset massive illness. Explaining to folks that fibromyalgia makes me tired, foggy and sore doesn't have nearly the flare of having a near-death asthma attack in their living room.
I hope you sense my sarcasm as I write this; of course, I don't want any illness to be dramatic or life-threatening. Of course I don't envy the pizzazz that my visibly disabled friends have. (If I could wave a magic wand and heal all the ChronicBabes of the world, hell yea—that wand would get waved.)
But the reality is: we live in a world where lots of us live with chronic illness, and our day-to-day lives with them can be boring...it's easy for others to not care all that much. If we want people around us to have compassion for our experience, or to help us, we need to make it easy for them to understand. And we've got to make it sexy.
In my public relations work, we look for what's "sexy" in a topic—what's the nugget that sells the story, the tease that draws people in for a deeper look. And with more than a decade of life as a ChronicBabe under my belt, I feel pretty qualified to say that chronic illness CAN be sexy. It just takes a little work. Here are a few examples from my life, and from some of yours:
My devastating illness
A family member once told me she was afraid that symptoms she was having indicated something serious, and she was afraid to become like me—"devastated" by illness. Huh? Do I LOOK devastated to you? I thought this was hilarious, and told all my friends. Now they ask things like, "Can you and your devastating illness come for dinner tonight?" or "Do you think your devastating illness can be cured by this chocolate cake I baked?"
The sexy: I took something negative and flipped it on its head, and so have my friends. I found something funny in a crappy situation and now my friends (who are some of the most important people in my world) are aware that I have health limitations—but not in a "Debbie Downer" kind of way. They know we can all joke about it, and that rocks.
I look like the Borg
Iris had to wear a Holter heart monitor for a time, and she was worried about what her boyfriend would think. Would he still find her attractive? Would the machine get in their way during sex? (Would he even want to have sex with her?)
She could have told him a long story about why she had to wear it, and talked him through a long scenario about how to handle it, and generally turn their night together into a long, boring conversation. Instead she found the sexy: she appealed to his inner nerd, and pitched it as a science experiment. "I look like the Borg," she said by way of explaining all the wires. And...well, you can guess what happened.
T-shirts are super-sexy
One of the most simple ways to teach people is to put yourself out there with a visual aid. I love MedTees, which have hilarious slogans and images that make light of illness. They're cute, affordable, some of them are downright sexy, and they send an instant message to everyone around you: I'm a sicko, and I ain't afraid to talk about it. Some of the most meaningful interactions I've had about chronic illness have come at the gym or grocery store, where folks see my t-shirts and strike up a conversation.
(I also love wearing my ChronicBabe buttons everywhere; they draw attention and make great conversation starters.)
Babes who blog
Finally, the easiest example I can think of: all us Babes who blog. There are thousands of women (and men) online, telling their stories. The best blogs educate, entertain, raise awareness and break down communication barriers. Every single person who puts herself out there is making it easier for ALL sick folks to live their lives. By bringing chronic illness into everyday conversation, we reduce the unnecessary shame or guilt ChronicBabes feel. We destroy the taboo of talking about illness. And that's damn sexy.
Posted: 6/5/2008 in Chronically Sexy | Also posted in: Coping
