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Curvy my ass! New Gap jeans suck
I am so pissed at the Gap. Used to be, a girl with a booty could buy jeans there, jeans that would make her heart-shaped badonkadonk look superfly. But for the past few years, all their jeans have seemed engineered for stick figures only.
So when my friend Kirsten told me the other day that the Gap was introducing jeans to accommodate a bigger tush--without a gapingly huge waistline--I was psyched. I popped into the local Gap today to check it out.
And now I am pissed! I guess I'm mostly angry with myself for wasting time finding parking and trying the jeans on, cuz I should have known.
The Gap's new "curvy" style purports to be made for women with curvacious bods, but that is a crock. I snagged a pair of the size 12 regular--a size of pant or jeans that in any normal universe should fit me--and took them to the dressing room. I was able to pull them up to mid-thigh before they stuck. Mid-thigh. Never mind my ass, or my waist or my hips. These suckers were so tight they barely made it over my knees.
So I went back out to grab a size 16, thinking that I'd try them on for kicks--although I guessed that if they squeezed over my apparently gargantuan thighs, the waistline would gap out with enough room to carry a sack lunch. And you know what? Just holding them up, I could tell they would be too small. The leg width was barely more than that of my upper arm.
Seriously. Does the Gap think that women who are "curvy" are just selectively curvy in only one place? Do they think I glue on a bubble butt every morning? I need more than twiglegs to support my curves, and I'm not alone, in case you haven't noticed, people of the Gap.
I feel like this is something I've fought since I was 18 and blossomed into curvy womanhood. And since I've been chronic, it's been even harder--I came well-equipped, but reduced activity during long flare-ups is how my ass really got where it is today. Hip and leg pain mean I don't want jeans that are supertight, but I don't want billowy clown jean pants either. My quest for jeans that fit has been long and arduous, and I have not made it alone. There are millions of women out there with the same issue! So what the hell, Gap? Why can't you make jeans for women with a little meat on them? Why? WHY?
For now, I'll continue to buy jeans from Eileen Fisher, which are gorgeous and fit great. I can only afford one pair at a time, but I'll love and care for that pair like a treasured pet.
And in the spirit of helping out fellow Babes across the globe, I am asking you to tell me about your jeans. Babe Pam has already chimed in--let's hear more! Share your favorite jean source and help a Babe!

